Thursday, January 24, 2013

Cole's Greenwich Village: How to give your customers the middle finger

Cole's Greenwich Village (January 2013)

119 Greenwich Ave
New York, NY

Sameer: No Cow- Strip steak (rare), Burger (medium rare) - Jesus, where do I start.  I will start with the steak because that is what the rating reflects.  Strip was uninspiring, though prepped nicely.  Decent flavor, but lacking texture and the charred exterior.  The burger was actually pretty good.  Like the 3rd day open, so I could be convinced into boosting to a 1 cow out of the goodness of my heart, but not likely.

Maybe I am being unduly harsh on this place because of the seating debacle.  When you try to cram 5 male adults into a booth made for 4 fashion week models, and then have the nutsack to claim the table is actually for 6 people to our faces when the same booth next to us only has 2 people in it, you're going to get hit in the cow department my friend.  We would have been completely pacified if they said, hey we just opened up a few days ago, sorry about this, have a round on us.  Instead of acting like we were idiots who could not comprehend spatial configurations.  Being ass to elbows the entire dinner experience was the subject of much of the conversation, thus detracting from what we should be talking about: chicks.

Also, some friendly advice from a non-restauranteur.  When you have 5 guys chowing down steaks who have already had a round of drinks at the bar (that they waited 20 minutes for), you could probably beef up their bill if you bothered to fucking ask them once in a while if they wanted some more drinks.  1 round of drinks during a 2.5 hr meal is unacceptable.  Having a mixology bar the size of my coffee table to service a dinner time rush in NYC where each artisanal, bitters-laden drink takes 15 minutes to prepare is not going to help your margins.  My prediction: this place is something else within 18 months.

I will thank them for the free round of whiskeys at the END of dinner, because who does not want to down a whiskey right before going to bed.

My bad on this one fellas.